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Admiration

April 9, 2010

Old age isn’t for the faint hearted.  Observing my dad over a number of months I have gained an incredible insight into the difficulties he’s facing while short-term memory loss takes up residence and intermittent confusion results in frustration and fear.

What with one thing and another the last few weeks have been incredibly difficult as he comes to terms with life changes and the challenges that go with a diagnosis of vascular dementia.

I’ve decided to write about my journey with my dad, for a time anyway, and have set up a separate blog at at eighty one if you want to visit.

Thanks for dropping by.

Avril

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blog? maybe.

March 2, 2010

Blog or not blog?

While the question hasn’t exactly been keeping me up at nights I’m contempleting.  What’s to be done with bpositive? .

As I see it.

I could leave things as they are.  True.  But with a blog comes a certain responsibility.  It needs looked after if it isn’t to become old and weary and out of date (I’m making some connections here) just sitting waiting and wondering as the days go by if someone will drop in and pay a visit.  Maybe even post something.  How exciting would that be!

I could delete it.  Eh?  Delete it as if it never existed?  Whoa!  Isn’t that a bit … ‘final’?  On reflection this might appear a step too far and overly dramatic.  Reason?  As I’ve read through some of the old stuff I find a warmth here, stirring memories of people and places, happiness and sadness, moments of learning and understanding and empathy.  A genuineness I’d forgotten.

Or I could go for resurrection and a complete revamp (again, seeing some connections) keeping some of the old stuff but looking at the possibilities.  A bit like recovery.  I know, short-term goals are always good and I’ve become quite fond of them.  Blog once a week perhaps?  That MUST be achievable.  Even if it’s to say hello or duplicate my update status as seen on Facebook and Twitter!

Sounds good to me.

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photoblog … top ten picks

January 21, 2009

I haven’t shown much commitment to blogging these days. I guess I’m all worded out at the minute and enjoying a time of relaxation and renewal following a rather hectic period of activity which began last September and ended a week ago.

One thing to capture my imagination recently is the photoblog a hint of bergamot.  I look forward to the new daily additions and can’t help be inspired.

Here are my top ten favourites (today).

  1. Glory of Rome
  2. Streets of Old (Aberdeen)
  3. Continental Divide
  4. Where leaders walk
  5. Let there be light
  6. Half moon
  7. Transformers Robots in Disguise
  8. Boats in Anstruther harbour
  9. Rapid
  10. Open Heart

Enjoy!

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Parliamo Glasgow

December 17, 2008

Got an email from my brother in Alburquerque today about being Scottish.  I’m guessing it’s unlikely he’ll be hearing anything like this in New Mexico.

Learn the ‘patter’ in Stanley Baxter’s Parliamo Glasgow.  Genius.

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Anthony Nolan Trust

October 7, 2008

The Anthony Nolan Trust is a UK charity that focuses on leukaemia and bone marrow transplantation. It manages and recruits donors and is always looking for more people to add to the register (aged 18-40) especially young men and people from black and minority ethnic communities.

Campaigning journalist, Adrian Subdury sadly lost his battle with leukaemia but his legacy has gone on to inspire thousands of people to join the bone marrow register.

Adrian spent the last weeks of his life campaigning to make education on bone marrow, blood and organs complusory for 17 and 18-year-olds in all UK sixth form colleges.

I registered with the Trust some years ago and can honestly say that apart from the blood test there’s nothing to it.  Find out more at ‘Why join the register?’.

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memories

October 3, 2008

And when it comes to our feelings, those who have been left behind discover a vast ocean. Sometimes the ocean seems calm and still, and yet the next minute, for no apparent reason, a wave comes crashing over us. At other times the loss is so intense it is like being at sea, out of the sight of land and simply tossed around; and then, sometimes there are moments of quiet and serene beauty as a new truth dawns, and sometimes the grief is so overwhelming that it’s like drowning, and there’s no one to hear our cries (Christopher Herbert).

I’ve been thinking about a baby called Iona this week.

Even though many of us had never seen Iona we got to know her through her uncle Chris and couldn’t help but be amazed at her fight for survival. She was just weeks old. We prayed and waited for news of her progress and thanked God for the occasional glimmers of hope. But it wasn’t to be.

It’s been deeply moving and inspiring to read her uncle’s story and I’m hoping he continues for a short time at least. We won’t forget.  Her funeral will be tomorrow and although she may be gone, in the short time she’s been here, little Iona has made quite an impact. And for that we give thanks.

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Tess of the D’Urbervilles

September 20, 2008

Looks like the BBC’s on to another winner with this adaptation of the Thomas Hardy classic.  Thoroughly engrossing!  Episode 2 tomorrow night.

Having said all that … Jane Austen’s Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy are still top of my list though!  (sigh)

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Be Still …

September 19, 2008

I’m reminded of God’s presence and stillness today … and peace.  It’s not of our natural world and although I don’t understand it I do know it.

I have been overwhelmed but greatly comforted by that presence in the midst of worry, exhaustion, distress and confusion while watching the broken body of a parent die as her soul is set free. I’ve welcomed it in the aftermath of broken relationships and in the building of new ones. It’s been there in the numbness when realising some people weren’t what I thought. I’ve responded to its prompting in accepting I was loved. That same presence is there as I’ve talked to patients whose physical and emotional scars were a bit too much for me and I’ve sensed the presence in the joy of people believing and hoping tomorrow will be better. In the selfless and tireless efforts of people who want to make a difference it’s there … because they are there.

I’m remembering a few people today and hope that in their seeking to find some answers they will be able to find some peace and hope too.

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final year

September 17, 2008

Starting tomorrow at 9am through till 4pm. Wonder what’s in tomorrow’s timetable?

When I decided to give up my job two years ago to go back to full-time study and a nursing degree I’m sure there were those who wondered what the heck I was doing. But here we are, two years down the line, all exams and placements passed and with less than a year to go it still seems a little unreal and unnerving. It scares me sometimes when I think how quickly it’s all gone and the learning expected during that time.

A joy? Everything I’d hoped for? Wonderful people doing wonderful things? There have been moments … let’s see what tomorrow and thereafter brings before I come to any conclusion.

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time flies

September 16, 2008

Since Youth Assembly I’ve been on a bit of a roll with the old blog so today I’m pondering the possibility of a post. Or maybe I’m just faffing.

I was reading about procrastination on another blog yesterday and the word seems especially fitting for me at the minute but I find that my ways of putting off the inevitable are changing, evolving to suit the latest fad.

My usual approach in avoiding essay writing in particular involves three things: housework; staring out the window looking for squirrels; spending hours on end reading material related to the most recent assignment which, at the beginning, makes me feel quite self-righteous in a conscientious kind of a way but inevitably leads to over saturation and numbness. Always good.

I’ve noticed this week a new pattern is emerging and there are now some additions to my repertoire. It appears I have developed a new and far more entertaining set of avoidance tactics that include Facebook (the word games can put you into a trance like state if you stick with them long enough), Twitter (providing your friends update regularly you can see what they’re doing at any given point in time) and of course the ultimate is mulling over other people’s interesting/not interesting thoughts in bloggers world (even the random stuff).

With the final academic session and final placements on the horizon as of Thursday I’m feeling a bit guilty that I’ve been so unproductive these last two weeks. It’s not as if I’ve had nothing to be getting on with. So in an attempt to combat this guilt I’m planning on planning my research proposal and visiting Athens. I’ll put the kettle on first and take the washing out the machine and remember to take my lemon balm herbal remedy for stress and anxiety and … oh it’s almost lunchtime and then I’m seeing someone at two.

Where does the time go for goodness sake!?