Posts Tagged ‘Studying’

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fed-up-ness

June 26, 2008

I’ve been a bit off colour this week and more than a little bored. Maybe my present fed-up-ness is the result of what seems like a rather long second year and, with only two weeks to go in placement, it’s all becoming a long, drawn out affair.   

Practice placements are always difficult no matter how good they are. This isn’t a contradiction. It’s like starting a new job every ten weeks so by the time you’re starting to settle in you find it’s time for another academic block before another placement… and the cycle begins all over again.

Overall my placement experiences have been fairly positive and I’ve learned a lot even when there appears little to learn. The patients have been great (mostly) and I’ve found most staff, especially my mentors, to be supportive. There have been a few highs and lows especially during the first placement when I found myself (several times) at the point of tears and ending up greetin in the ladies toilet wondering what the heck I was doing. Over the two years I’ve had to bite my tongue on more than a couple of occasions and turn a deaf ear to what was clearly none of my business. I have tried to remain impartial at all times and resist the temptation to get involved in any gossip. No mean feat I can tell you! Not getting drawn into staffing disputes and bitchiness has become a bit of an art and if I’m glad I’m managing to get through unscathed. It’s a mad world.

This week I’ve been wondering where the last two years have gone and can’t believe the amount of new stuff my brain has absorbed in that time.  I’ve also questioned over and over if my skills are really transferrable or is it all a myth. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me, my brain is full to the point of bursting due to new stuff going in and an over analysis of what’s already there. Maybe I just need to stop thinking for a while.

Sometimes I miss sitting at a desk where I organised, managed, arranged, problem solved and ok controlled certain things around me.  I guess I was happy knowing I was good at what I did.  But that was then. Only this week have I realised what I miss most: creativity, vision, hope and passion and I’m not really sure what to do with that knowledge except take it into a third year with me. 

So here I am, waiting for three results and hoping that tomorrow I’ll be feeling more like myself, more motivated, more engaged and more enlightened.

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chilled – no really

March 25, 2008

I finished the stats assigment more than a week ago and have only just submitted it due to the checking, rechecking and, yeah that’s right, checking calculations AGAIN!!!!  Ever so slightly OCD.  I’m certain it was because it was an online submission and I just knew that once I’d clicked ‘ok’ it was gone, forever!        

Anyway, it’s gone now so no point in worrying further … relax, chill, blog, go for a walk or get on with next thing … law and healthcare.  I like that! 

Also need to do some research into hearing impaired patient hearing voices.  Now that’s interesting!

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Procrastination

February 20, 2008

This is my study day. This means that I’m usually slaving over books all day and using the time wisely. Seriously, would I lie?

Today I seem to have got myself involved in other tasks: having a long lie (ok not strictly a task but quite necessary after being woken up at 4.55am by Dad asking what time it was!?); doing dishes and tidying up (my default position during times of procrastination or being in a bad mood); running David to university when he could have easily got the bus; visit to Dad’s to see how he is, do some cleaning and re-organising of drawers in a perfectionist like fashion which of course he so badly needed (in my head, not his) and now I’m expecting another phone call in the middle of the night asking where his socks and vests!

Finally I’m at my desk. I’ve visited moodle, got the necessary tutorial and questions for tomorrow’s stats lecture and I’m raring to go. Well actually I’ve been raring to go for the last hour and a half and all I’ve done is:

Completed Dr Phil’s personality test on Facebook which tells me that ‘others see me as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical and always interesting; someone who’s constantly in the centre of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head (of course!). They also see me as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who will always cheer them up and help them out’. I’m not sure how true this is but since I answered all the questions honestly, it’s either (a) the truth (b) possiblly kinda the truth based on it’s lack of indepth questionning (c) not the truth. Think I’ll go with (a) because that actually makes me sound quite likeable!

Compared my ‘things you look for in a friend’ questionnaire with Sharon on Facebook and it seems we are 68% alike (why oh why are these quizzes on Facebook so compulsive!?)

Read Sharon’s message and replied accordingly (no time like the present)

Checked email and realised Lesley had written so I had to write back (obviously!)

Set up new files for semester 4 because I have so much paperwork to file already

Downloaded information from lecturers and filed accordingly in aforementioned new files

Now I’m writing this and the stats homework for tomorrow has yet to be tackled. I’ve also got some reading to do for Law and Healthcare and prep for Perspectives on the Human Experience through the Arts, both of which I rather like actually.

I guess I’m procrastinating.

putting off intentionally and habitually; putting off or delaying or defering an action to a later time; dilatoriness: slowness as a consequence of not getting around to it; the deferment or avoidance of an action or task to a later time and is often linked to perfectionism

Personally I think it’s because I’d simply much rather do something else!

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It’s not easy …

September 13, 2007

Ever think that?  That it’s not easy being you?  Too many things to do and think about that you’re certain your head will explode in the next five seconds!?  Never enough time to cram it all in?  Running around, getting stressed and worrying? 

I’ve found the last five weeks in study hard going.  Tired and sluggish one day and excited and motivated the next (eh?).  There seems to be no set pattern nor indeed any real cause.  It’s just the way of it.  But it needs to stop and I need to take control in an assertive fashion!

Stewart is disorganised but learning to be organised.  I’m a worrier but need to learn NOT to be so I’m working on it!  Still think there’s more chance of me becoming ‘laid back’ than him being organised mind you!  (obviously kidding!) 

Here I am, it’s Thursday afternoon and I have a long weekend ahead … have decided to take the opportunity and relax for a few days.  Gather myself together a bit in preparation for the new placement beginning on Monday for five weeks.  How do I feel?  Oh, the usual: bit tired; bit anxious; bit worried; bit positive; bit excited!

Ah life.  Bit of a rollercoaster ride really!

Time for coffee or maybe I should avoid caffeine or is that ok as long as I don’t have something chocolately …

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studying …

August 29, 2007

I’m studying for a test tomorrow.

I don’t like studying much, it reminds me of when I was at school (a hundred years ago). Actually I was worse then and spent a lot of time daydreaming and staring out of my bedroom window, watching with interest as a new dual carriageway was built.  It provided endless entertainment and distraction for me.   Of course my intentions were good and, while I knew studying was the right thing to do, the truth is that I just couldn’t be bothered enough to get on with it! 

As a mature student I’m different.  Yes there are times that I regret not working harder years ago but I don’t think there’s any point in regret, life’s too short and there’s always another opportunity. It’s never too late.

So with the pharmacology test looming on the horizon I’ll say goodnight (and hope I’ve done enough)!

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breakaway techniques

August 27, 2007

What a laugh this morning!  All ten of us (students – mostly mature like me!) arrived at the hall to learn how to deal with challenging behaviour using ‘breakaway techniques’.  After warming up (well we walked round the room a lot and stretched a bit) we learned what to do if …. it went really well and although we joked a bit it was actually taken seriously as we know how important it is.   

Other than that I’m on a wee half day so I’m spending some of it ‘trying’ to study for the pain and pharmacology test on Thursday but not really getting on very well.  So far, I’ve completed a wee movie quiz on facebook for a friend, put the kettle on and made Stewart (he’s on a day off) and me a cup of coffee and polished off the rest of the rhubarb pie and now I’m writing this.

Must get on …