Archive for the ‘stuff’ Category


Monday’s Bingo

July 1, 2008

Yippee! I’ve passed and second year is still almost over!

I find it a little strange sometimes that I can get such good results. I’m sure someone is going to contact me to say there’s been a blunder, a huge mistake, a bit of a mix-up but so far it appears not so I smile. Now those who know me know that I hate boasting and am more inclined to understate my achievements than to shout about them from the rooftops. This is my way even though I wish I was different sometimes. Maybe it’s the result of a Presbyterian upbringing and the fact that praise was always hard to come by in our household or maybe it’s just a personality thing. Who knows and it’s not important. What’s important is I felt really good about myself and am pleased that the hard work is continuing to pay off. I’m sure family and friends believe that I’m taking the phrase ‘if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well’ to the extreme. No? Thanks for your help and support anyway x

Then I had an odd afternoon when I dropped in on a drop-in group specifically for people recovering from mental ill-health. Nothing odd in that you might say, especially for a student nurse specialising in mental health and you’d be right. In essence it’s not odd at all. But when the bingo started I was transported to a certain scene in a certain film. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry quite frankly and left feeling a bit deflated by the whole experience even though the participants were very nice, staff extremely welcoming and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

Nothing wrong with bingo you might think and, again, you’d be right. What am I getting at? I’m not really sure. I spoke to my mentor about it today and questioned the appropriateness of my reaction in a conscientious reflective student kind-of-a-way. Contrary to my thinking she understood what I meant, asking if I saw it as a step backwards instead of forwards. I’m sure that’s what I saw – something from the past – a stereotypical collection of people doing a stereotypical type thing in a stark hall absent of any warmth and I guess that shocked me slightly in 2008. I wondered if this is the best we can do?  I’m not sure what I think.

What I know is they enjoy it, it’s not about me is it, it’s about those that turn up week after week because it’s bingo. Good for them.

Enough said. Move on.


talking to myself

May 22, 2008

For a split second everything seemed just right.  I feel quite spiritual in fact.  The sun’s shining, I’m eating chocolate, I don’t feel guilty as I walk passed the gym on the way home … then I start to think back to the events of the day. I should know by now that’s never a good thing.

You know that way you begin to replay things over in your mind?

Today we had to give a presentation. It shouldn’t have worried me but it did. My group arrived to be told that we were in the ‘communication suite’ and we all knew what that meant. Recording!!! We’d been duped! I would’ve worn something different! Well I am female and I wasn’t the only one wishing she was having a better hair day! I suddenly felt under pressure. The last time I felt this nervous was when I was Best Woman at my best friend’s civil partnership, and this time I didn’t even need to be funny for goodness sake!  (As we all know trying to be funny when one is not a naturally funny person isn’t good.)

I’m thinking I’m a bit stressed this week. Too many things needing my time and effort and I’m unable to focus.

I’ll just have another piece of chocolate and not think about it anymore. I’ve got an idea!  I’ll think about something else instead … 

I must remember to transfer the law and healthcare notes I took during this morning’s lecture. Now what was the name of that legal case and what was its significance again? Nope, can’t remember!

I’ll just wait till I get home and once I’ve read through the stuff, I’m sure it’ll all come back to me.

This afternoon’s lecture on dual diagnosis was really good – mental health & learning disabilities. Mmm tricky. I’m reminded of my second semester placement and hiding in the charge nurse’s office during the first week hoping nobody would notice. In the end it turned out to be a great learning experience … well I had to come out eventually!

The chocolate’s nearly finished! How did that happen and I’m only at the end of the road!?

I walk the same route each day … it reminds me of walking home from school (ah the olden days). I’m thinking that each time I pass these same houses I’m eating chocolate and it occurs to me that for three days this week I’ve been eating chocolate each time I pass these same houses. Is this developing into some sort of habit? . Admittedly I’ve had three varieties of chocolate: Monday was chocolate raisins, Wednesday was flake and today was a bar of whole nut (I was off Tuesday).

Last bite and it’s all gone.

I’m home.




Size 4

April 3, 2008

I’m obviously a bit behind the times in finding out that ladies can now buy size 4 (UK) clothing in Asda.  I had absolutely no idea until someone mentioned it at work last week.  This called for some investigation so off I went to find out if this information was reliable.  Yes indeed.  I found several items (including quite a nice blouse actually) all size 4.  Tiny, teensy weensy tiny!

What’s the point in this post?  Not sure really.  It could in fact be pointless but it’s something I just needed to share.  I’m kinda thinkin that of all the slim folk I know (there are a number and they’re all grown up) NONE come close to a UK size 4! 

So, where are they or maybe the clothing is just very small!? 


chilled – no really

March 25, 2008

I finished the stats assigment more than a week ago and have only just submitted it due to the checking, rechecking and, yeah that’s right, checking calculations AGAIN!!!!  Ever so slightly OCD.  I’m certain it was because it was an online submission and I just knew that once I’d clicked ‘ok’ it was gone, forever!        

Anyway, it’s gone now so no point in worrying further … relax, chill, blog, go for a walk or get on with next thing … law and healthcare.  I like that! 

Also need to do some research into hearing impaired patient hearing voices.  Now that’s interesting!


a new semester

March 21, 2008

Already one assignment is more or less complete and ready for submission, one is currently being worked on as we speak and the other two are simmering away nicely. It all sounds very calm and organised and I guess it is. Perhaps I’m finally getting into the swing of it or maybe I’m less anxious so dealing with it all better or could it be that I’m just having a good couple of weeks and it’ll all buckle under the strain of time restrictions and dreaded deadlines. Who knows. 

This week I began a new placement and have been out on some visits. My mentor seems nice, good at her job so lots I can learn and the team is friendly and welcoming. Full of stories: successful ones; funny ones; sad ones; poignant ones; frustrating ones; not so nice ones. I guess that’s the business of mental health. If I was naïve before beginning my training, I am no longer.

Looking forward to the next nine weeks.


discussing broccoli

March 14, 2008

“I’m not really that interested in broccoli” says Jack, age 5. 


a labyrinth

February 2, 2008

Journeying into Lent I followed a star …

I was surprised by the sense of journeying and anticipation I felt as I followed the weaving path to the various stations.  It was not difficult for me to give way to the peace and quietness I’d sought over the previous few weeks, it was more appreciated than you’ll ever know.  The solitude of the journey was only enhanced as I listened to music and words on the mp3 player and for the first time in a while I reflected on my journey with God.

I held back as I approached the final station.  I’m not sure if this was because I was being drawn into God’s presence in this place or if it was simply because it was the last stop and I knew I’d be going back into the bustle and noise and chatter of the world.  Maybe it was both.

Going home by a different route meant going out of the warm building into the dark and cold. As a visitor I was unfamiliar with the church and its surroundings so felt more than a little uncomfortable as I didn’t know where I was going. I’m a creature of habit you see, like to be prepared for all eventualities.  Organised and planned.  But life’s never as straightforward as that is it?  For often we are confronted with situations that require us to deviate from our ‘norm’.  It’s not always easy is it and the excuses are many: don’t have the time or the time’s not right; not prepared; not ready; feeling uncomfortable; don’t like it; don’t want to. 

It may have been better if I’d decided not to go.  Tuesday’s exam was pressing and time for revision was limited.  I needed more time for goodness sake.  But I’d promised I’d attend and felt torn between my promise and what seemed like my priority.  As it turned out my priorities were all wrong and I benefited more from taking some time out and sitting in the stillness with God.

Different routes can be scary, exciting, challenging … very seldom dull and definitely always worthwhile!